Emotional Rollercoaster

It has been a hard couple of days. But today we had a mixed bag. First of all, they took Mom off the ventilator to see how she could do on her own. So far, so good. She is working harder to breathe on her own, but her oxygen levels are staying good. Today she coughed, too. I learned that when you lay there the normal saliva your body makes and you swallow instinctively just stays there and goes into her air passage. One reason they had her on the ventilator was so they could easily suction out those fluids. But her ability to cough forces the fluids out of her lungs. The challenge now is that her swallow reflex isn"t working. So they suction out the back of her throat when she coughs and can"t clear her airway. That is a step in the right direction.

The hardest part of today was hearing the doctor tell us in concrete terms what to expect. Mom will be several weeks still in the hospital, then to a nursing facility until she is strong enough for rehab. Then a month of rehab to see what she will be able to do. Dad asked outright "will she ever be back to normal?" The doctor said, "I doubt it, but we hope she can get pretty close."

A good thing about today was that my brother, Chris, is here from Alaska and was able to be there at the hospital to hear all this. I am so glad he is here to see for himself what we are dealing with so he can have a better understanding of what is going on. It relieves me knowing that he knows exactly what we are going through. And with him here, I get to come home for a few days. :)

As I told Dad today, we just have to take this one day at a time and we"ll get through it!

Looking at Blessings in a Hard Time

As most know, Mom had a brain tumor removed Thursday, Jan 7, 2010. As of today, she still hasn't woken up. I first got a clue something wasn't quite right when Friday morning my phone woke me up. The doctor at the hospital called to get permission to put a drain in Mom's brain because she was building up fluid and pressure pretty fast. They drilled a hole in her skull and stuck in a tube to monitor pressure and drain off fluids. By Friday afternoon, they were asking permission for a second surgery to relieve pressure that had gotten to a critical level. The surgery removed part of her brain (an unused part) and bone so that the swelling wouldn't damage her brain stem. The surgery was successful and they didn't have to remove as much brain matter as they anticipated. Since then the swelling has gone up a bit but leveled off. Now we wait. That is so hard!

As of today, all her vitals are good. Her heart, lungs, kidneys, bowels, etc are functioning well. She's just asleep. She is showing a very small baby step toward improvement. She has begun opening her eyes a bit for a few seconds. She still can't follow commands, but because the swelling isn't worse, the doctors are hopeful that once her brain swelling begins to go down she will wake up more.

This experience shows me how many people love us. Mom and Dad have such great friends always calling to give Dad support, love and offers of help. My own friends have been great, too. Emails, texts, and phone calls offering love and support give me courage and strength to know that I am not alone! And then the family . . . . what would we do without you? Thank you all for giving us a shoulder to lean on when we need you!

Happy New Year!

Life really does evolve, doesn't it. The rhythm of my days has changed since Marin moved out. I miss her and her comings and goings. I have learned that I need to look outward and find more opportunities to serve. It doesn't come naturally to me, so I need to change that.

Here are my New Year's resolutions:
Blog more!
Journal more!
Temple more!
Scriptures more!
Pray better!

I am excited about my callings. I am really in love with my Primary class. I am learning so much from them! Mostly I am learning to be more patient and learning to develop more teaching skills. And I love the spirit that is in my home when the Temple Prep class is here. Those valiant young men preparing for the temple and their missions bring an amazing spirit with them. It uplifts me! And I am having fun preparing to teach classes at the Family History Center. I sure have great opportunities to rub shoulders with great people! Hoping their greatness rubs off on me!

Happy New Year!